punkinhead

hand knitted baby hats…for warm heads & warm hearts

Yeah…..So what’s your point?

I love that line.  There’s a story here…

One of my employees was on the phone, explaining our deposit requirement when scheduling a session.   She carefully told the client when the payment was due, what it would be applied to, etc.  After she finished her ‘spiel’, the client responded “Yeah….so what’s your point?”   To which my employee paused for a moment before re-explaining that we needed a deposit, and so on.

So, after blogging more often the last few days than I have in 9 months, I thought I would inform new readers of My Point.

What is the point of http://www.punkinhead.net?  Why, it’s to sell the baby hats I knit, of course.  🙂   Well, maybe that’s not the ONLY point, but it’s why I started punkinhead.net.   Sorry, no, hats can’t be purchased here, it’s against WordPress’ rules.  But, I can have a link to my store over there.  >>>>

So, if you’re here because of a web search, and you’re wondering why you found this blog, that’s why.

And if you’re a friend, or a regular reader, I’m happy you’re here.  And I hope you have a blessed Merry Christmas!   We all have a lot to be thankful for this year.   Sometimes it doesn’t feel like that – because of hard times, or tragedies in the world – but we have to remember the good things in our lives and be thankful we are alive.   Many are not so lucky.

Many blessings to you!

K

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The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

It’s been one week since my heart, and the heart of our nation, was broken.   Like many others, I am still grieving.   I find myself crying or tearing up more often since my stepdad died over 27 years ago.  He wasn’t just my stepdad, he was my Dad.   He had raised me since I was a toddler, and I was devastated when he died.  Just like this week.   But, as grief works, like it did back in 1985, I find that time is helping a bit to heal this deep wound.  Instead of thinking about the tragedy every second, I might go a minute or two, then after a while, I realize it’s been 5 whole minutes, then an hour.   I’ll hear myself laugh and realize I hadn’t thought about ‘it’ for a couple of hours.   It’s not that the grief isn’t still there – am I getting used to it?  Or can I handle it better?  I don’t know.  But I’ve been through loss before, so I know this is how it works, but it just sucks that we have to go through it at all.

The good!   After crying on my way home from work Wednesday, listening to President Obama read those dear children’s names, I woke up Thursday to the news that my oldest niece was in labor – 10 days early!   Baby Michael kept us waiting all day, but he arrived healthy and weighing exactly what my daughter did.  It was such a great, happy day anticipating the birth.  It was as if God said “Hey, I know you’re grieving, here’s an early Christmas present, a miracle, to help you heal.”  I am so excited to have a new baby to love!  I have to wait a whole week to meet him, but I cannot wait until he is in my arms and I can see the future in his tiny face.  And on top of that, yesterday morning I received a video showing my youngest niece learning to walk!    Not even 11 months and she’s toddling across the floor, all cheeks and belly.  So precious.  Move forward, move on.  That’s the message I’m getting.

The ugly!   It’s just 2 of us in the studio today, and it’s Friday, and it’s our last day before the long holiday weekend, so we are sporting our favorite Ugly Christmas sweaters.   I’ve never worn one in public before, though my coworker has.  She even goes out for dinner and drinks wearing one!   She has more courage than I, but I’m willing to do it today, to make it a fun day.   It’s Christmas – a time for smiles and laughter.  Bring it on!

 

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5 Things

For the past few months I have been trying to make a list of 5 things I’m grateful for every day.   This is in thanks to Goldie Hawn’s book “10 Mindful Minutes”.   I loved this book when I first started it, but now that I think about it, I don’t think I ever finished it.  It’s on the nightstand, in the ‘pile’.  But, there were some really good points.  Being grateful.  Breathing deeply.   Not sweating the small stuff.   A lot of good ideas on how to not be so stressed and how to be happier and healthier.   So, making a list of things you’re thankful for can make you happier, because you can’t be sad when you’re grateful, right?

Admittedly my list making has slacked, as sometimes happens when we start something new, but it’s time to start again.   Usually I make my list my facebook status, and my friends know if they see numbers 1-5 what that means.

Yesterday’s list:

1.  My child is healthy.

2.  My child is happy.

3.  My child is safe.

4.  My child is home.

5.  My child IS.

I need to keep remembering this, as I am still finding myself overwhelmed with grief when I think of Friday.   I know, ‘Don’t think of Friday’, but how can I not?  There is this infernal Christmas song that I’ve heard TWICE in the last few days, once on Saturday morning and I think it should be banned from the radio this year.  It’s called something like “Christmas is for Kids” or similar, and the lyrics go “Remember that girl you once knew?” and it goes on about the boy you used to know, and all these words that are just like  arrows to the heart.

Five things….time to start working on today’s list.    I need to.  I really need it this morning.

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Best laid plans….

This morning my daughter said she wanted to make my ‘famous’ banana bread for her favorite past principal.   This is usually a big task, because when we make banana bread, we make banana bread.  A triple batch.  No sense going to all that trouble for one measly loaf, right?  But – a chance to bake and mother/daughter bond?  Are you kidding?  Of course we can make banana bread on a school/work night!

Well, thanks to the Homework Gods, child is holed up in her room for what promises to be a 3 hour study session.  Great.   So, I decided to put on our cheesiest Christmas album and and get busy.  What is the cheesiest album, you ask?  2 words.  Mannheim Steamroller.  Doesn’t matter the album.  They all have a Cheese factor of 100.   Why, then, did I voluntarily listen to them?   Because, for some crazy reason, it has become tradition for us to listen to Mannheim Steamroller while we decorate our tree.  So, hearing those synthetic tunes come out of the Bose reminded me of the past, having a great time with my little girl.  And that’s what I’m about this week, cherishing my ‘little’ girl.   Even if our Baking Night plans fell through and she’s not little any more.  She’s home and she’s safe.

Anyway, the music made me laugh, and the bread is in the oven. Time to sit and have a moment of peace and quiet and maybe some “Downton Abbey”.   Cue husband walking in the door wanting to watch the basketball game.  So, much for finding out if Matthew and Mary ever get married!

Best laid plans…..Well, my computer just restarted in the middle of the last paragraph.  Yesterday would have been my 24th anniversary to my 1st husband.   The little loaf of banana bread I made was supposed to last us a couple of days and my family just ate half of it while it was still warm.  Plans change.   Lives change.  It’s what makes life interesting.  Sometimes it makes our lives happy.  Sometimes unbearably sad.

So my evening is not working out as I planned.   My life hasn’t worked out like I planned.  But my family is home and safe.  That’s all that matters to me today.  And every day.

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The sun is out – Joy to the world!

mit144After all the recent gray days, both in weather and in the emotions of our country, the sun is out today.  It’s a beautiful day out there, though the trees are bare and brown, and the grass isn’t looking so great.   It’s still beautiful to see the sun and it is lifting my spirits, reminding me of better days ahead.

I thought it a perfect time to post my newest hat, shown on a sweet newborn baby.   There is Joy in this world.  Even in our darkest times.

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My heart is broken

It’s been 4 days and I still can’t get over the pain and sadness that Friday’s events in Newtown, Connecticut caused.  I find myself near tears every time I think about it.  I didn’t know any of the victims, I don’t know any of the families, I had never even heard of Newtown until Friday, but my heart breaks just the same.   Every time I think of how events played out in that school, I picture my daughter’s 1st grade classroom.   It was a place of happy noises and sweet voices.   Now I picture a group of terrified children and a brave teacher trying to protect them, though her human body was no match for the evil that entered the school that day.   I think of the principal lunging towards the gunman, and I picture the staff at my daughter’s school, and can see each and every one of them doing the same.

I’ve tried to stop thinking about it.  I’ve changed my Home pages to my email login page, so as to not have to see the headlines any more.  I’m not watching the news.  I won’t read the paper tomorrow.   The funerals have begun.  I can’t bear to read about the funerals. There shouldn’t be any funerals.

I know I need to move on.   But how unfair is that?  Those families won’t be able to move on for a long time.  If ever.  And they’ll never forget.   Neither will I.

But I’ve started to think about what our pastor said in church yesterday.   God is Love and God gives us Hope.  We had a baptism in church yesterday, a poignant contrast to the sorrow we felt.   But what a joyous thing to see a new baby – that’s what we need to believe in.   Love and Hope.

So now I’ve started thinking about the Good that happened Friday.   The parents who were reunited with their children.  I cannot imagine their joy.  The staff who could finally breathe a sigh of relief and open barricaded doors.   The children who were terrified, getting picked up and held by their mothers and fathers.  The family members who were called with the best news possible: their loved ones were safe.   A lot of bad happened Friday, but so did a lot of good.   There were over 400 children in that school and the first responders and sirens stopped further carnage.  These are things we need to be thankful for.  These are the things we need to remember too.

Love and Hope.   There is still Love in the world.  And there is still Hope in the world.  One evil act doesn’t take all of that away.  It just makes it harder to remember.

So we need to remember.  We need to remember the victims’ names: Emilie, Noah, Vicki, Jack.   Not the perpetrator’s.   We need to remember the Love in this world, not the hate.   We need to remember the Hope we have, not the despair we feel in a world gone crazy.

I’ve experience loss before and I know the biggest healer is time.   Lots and lots of time.  This wound I feel will heal.   Our nation will heal.  But those families will never heal.  May God’s love and our love give them peace and comfort.   Let’s not forget their loved ones.  They never will.

 

 

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The Triplets! Hand knitted baby hats for 3 sweet babies! Organic cotton.

I’m 45.  I admit it.  Halfway to 90.  Like most people my age, I have a teenager.  And my husband and I just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary.   And though on the surface, it sounds quite ‘normal’, the path here was not as cut and dried as it looks.  Ron is my 2nd husband.  We have a 20 year age difference.  And it wasn’t that easy to conceive our beautiful daughter.

But, this crooked path I took to marriage and parenthood is not nearly as surprising as my good friend T’s.   She married ‘late’ and had a difficult time having a successful pregnancy.  Then, a miracle happened and we were all thrilled when she got pregnant with…. twins!   Yes, I said twins.  Then, as God loves to give our lives little surprises, one of the embryos DSC00062 (3)split – and now you guessed it – triplets.  Triplets!   Three (3!) babies that are just over a month old!   Thank God they were born healthy, and they are growing and gaining weight.  Yay!

So, what is my point, you ask?  T is my age.  45.  Yes, she and her husband are new parents in their mid 40’s.  To triplets!  As you can imagine, they are beyond thrilled to suddenly have the big family they always wanted.  And I’m thrilled, too.  Not that I would want to start over now, mind you, and with 3, no less!  But, I am so happy that they finally can experience the joys of parenthood.   I love asking her about her ‘kids’ and being able to call her a mom.   She deserves this joy after all those years of heartbreak.

I’m shipping these three hats off to the triplets tomorrow.  I don’t know if the babies will ever wear them (it doesn’t get as cold there as it does here), but I wanted her to have them.   Hopefully they’ll grow so fast, that shortly they won’t fit for long!

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