punkinhead

2016 has been one of the hardest years EVER for our family.   I know everyone has bad times, but this one seems to be unique and all falling within the last 8 months.  Full of calamaties, over and over, a little brain surgery here, car accidents there, young friends’ untimely passings, ruined vacations, illnesses, medical bills, etc.

And every time I think things are going to look up….

My friends have watched our struggle.  They’re an awesome group of people I’ve come to love and count on for their support.  I, however, feel I’m doing them a disservice lately –  because I’m catching myself being a Debbie Downer.   It’s true!  I AM the classic character from “Saturday Night Live” portrayed by Rachel Dratch.

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/debbie-downer/n11825

Whu whu whuuuu…. Like Debbie, I don’t ever seem to have any good news.  When friends ask How are You – what do I say?  Lie and say “Fine”?  Be truthful and say, “2016 sucks and I don’t think I can handle one more thing?”  I am at a loss.

And if I do share anything, frankly, I depress myself.  I can only imagine how they feel.

But I know my friends will listen.  And want to help.  And bring me treats and hugs.  Still, though – I haven’t been the best company.

I’m trying to change.  I’m trying to find the joyful things in life.   This past holiday weekend, our little family decided to try to find something fun to do every day.  We had to get out of the house, laugh, forget about any troubles.  We took the dog to the park and watched her crazy, lopsided run.  We discovered new parks.  We ate dinner on the rooftop.  We threw around the football.

Because wallowing isn’t a choice.  We have to be grateful for what is good in our lives, and that – to be pessimistic (optimistic?) – things could always be worse.  We have had a lot of blessings the last few months – and we are healthy, and alive, and for that we must be thankful.

This is one of my new favorite songs.  I keep singing the line, “Don’t be a Downer”.

I love this performance.

Finding the little things in life that you enjoy and make you smile.  That’s how we get through it all.

Don’t be a downer.

I’m trying.  I really am.

Have you ever noticed some people are just so cranky?  And have you wondered why?

I was telling a friend today about a very cranky lady at work who just yelled and yelled at me the other day.   For something out of my control.  And when I called her back, to tell her that it would be resolved, to her benefit even, she gave me the silent treatment.  I was killing her with kindness and she was still rude.

And then today we go to process her charge card and it was declined.  My co-worker calls her and is almost apologetic that this has happened, though we are not in the wrong.  The woman does say she’s sorry and gives us a different card number, which is also declined.   Then she sounds annoyed when we have to call her again, though we’d be much happier if we didn’t have to.  Does she think we’re enjoying this?   And guess what – the situation is still not resolved because she hasn’t returned our call.

Which begs the question of why some people are like that.  And what is it that makes them so cranky?  Is there something in their lives they are dealing with that is making them so awful?  Or are they just like that?

Probably a little bit of both.

When my mother-in-law was dying, we were in the middle of a big painting project.   My husband was out of town, and I had to get another gallon of paint from the home improvement store.   Well, they did the wrong formula, which, of course, I didn’t discover until I was at home and started to put it on the walls.   So, on my return trip to the store, I have to admit, I was a bit cranky.   And I’m never cranky to store employees.   Never.  I am usually thanking them for my purchase.  I think a lot of us who work retail are nicer than average.   We know.  We just know what their job is like.

So this outburst was unlike me.  And after I calmed down, I apologized to the clerks, I explained the situation, and I began to cry.  In the middle of the paint department.  No, not one of my finer moments.   Then the dear older clerk came around the counter and gave me a big hug.   Which, of course, caused me to cry even more.   Right next to the paint chips.   Lovely.

My point is …..there was definite stress in my life that was making me so cranky.   This client has had 2 different credit/debit cards declined for the relatively small amount of $25.   There’s gotta be some stress there, don’t you think?

And isn’t it funny that I’d like to think so?  Is it wrong to wish she has something going on to make her so cranky?  Maybe it’s a little wish that she can’t be like that all the time.  Can she?