punkinhead

hand knitted baby hats…for warm heads & warm hearts

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

It’s been one week since my heart, and the heart of our nation, was broken.   Like many others, I am still grieving.   I find myself crying or tearing up more often since my stepdad died over 27 years ago.  He wasn’t just my stepdad, he was my Dad.   He had raised me since I was a toddler, and I was devastated when he died.  Just like this week.   But, as grief works, like it did back in 1985, I find that time is helping a bit to heal this deep wound.  Instead of thinking about the tragedy every second, I might go a minute or two, then after a while, I realize it’s been 5 whole minutes, then an hour.   I’ll hear myself laugh and realize I hadn’t thought about ‘it’ for a couple of hours.   It’s not that the grief isn’t still there – am I getting used to it?  Or can I handle it better?  I don’t know.  But I’ve been through loss before, so I know this is how it works, but it just sucks that we have to go through it at all.

The good!   After crying on my way home from work Wednesday, listening to President Obama read those dear children’s names, I woke up Thursday to the news that my oldest niece was in labor – 10 days early!   Baby Michael kept us waiting all day, but he arrived healthy and weighing exactly what my daughter did.  It was such a great, happy day anticipating the birth.  It was as if God said “Hey, I know you’re grieving, here’s an early Christmas present, a miracle, to help you heal.”  I am so excited to have a new baby to love!  I have to wait a whole week to meet him, but I cannot wait until he is in my arms and I can see the future in his tiny face.  And on top of that, yesterday morning I received a video showing my youngest niece learning to walk!    Not even 11 months and she’s toddling across the floor, all cheeks and belly.  So precious.  Move forward, move on.  That’s the message I’m getting.

The ugly!   It’s just 2 of us in the studio today, and it’s Friday, and it’s our last day before the long holiday weekend, so we are sporting our favorite Ugly Christmas sweaters.   I’ve never worn one in public before, though my coworker has.  She even goes out for dinner and drinks wearing one!   She has more courage than I, but I’m willing to do it today, to make it a fun day.   It’s Christmas – a time for smiles and laughter.  Bring it on!

 

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The Triplets! Hand knitted baby hats for 3 sweet babies! Organic cotton.

I’m 45.  I admit it.  Halfway to 90.  Like most people my age, I have a teenager.  And my husband and I just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary.   And though on the surface, it sounds quite ‘normal’, the path here was not as cut and dried as it looks.  Ron is my 2nd husband.  We have a 20 year age difference.  And it wasn’t that easy to conceive our beautiful daughter.

But, this crooked path I took to marriage and parenthood is not nearly as surprising as my good friend T’s.   She married ‘late’ and had a difficult time having a successful pregnancy.  Then, a miracle happened and we were all thrilled when she got pregnant with…. twins!   Yes, I said twins.  Then, as God loves to give our lives little surprises, one of the embryos DSC00062 (3)split – and now you guessed it – triplets.  Triplets!   Three (3!) babies that are just over a month old!   Thank God they were born healthy, and they are growing and gaining weight.  Yay!

So, what is my point, you ask?  T is my age.  45.  Yes, she and her husband are new parents in their mid 40’s.  To triplets!  As you can imagine, they are beyond thrilled to suddenly have the big family they always wanted.  And I’m thrilled, too.  Not that I would want to start over now, mind you, and with 3, no less!  But, I am so happy that they finally can experience the joys of parenthood.   I love asking her about her ‘kids’ and being able to call her a mom.   She deserves this joy after all those years of heartbreak.

I’m shipping these three hats off to the triplets tomorrow.  I don’t know if the babies will ever wear them (it doesn’t get as cold there as it does here), but I wanted her to have them.   Hopefully they’ll grow so fast, that shortly they won’t fit for long!

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